Kinda Dilemma

Assalamualaikum. How's life, dude? Tonight I'll post something yang ada sangkut-pautnya with my future life nanti. Mau mulai dari mana yah? Hm, gini deh, when you were 6, you wanted to be what? A teacher, a police, a soldier, or a commonly dream, a doctor? Saya sih, dokter. I didn't know why I choose doctor at that time. When my dad or my mom or my auntie asked me, " hey kid, what's your aspire later?" and definately I am going to answer doctor. But for right now, when the single person asks me something like that, Idk right why suddenly I became confuse. Particularly when they ask me about mau masuk kuliah mana nanti, mau ambil jurusan apa nanti. I don't truly certain about that. Doctor? But I think I must compete with the thousand people, or even millions for entering that one. Ugh, what a sucks feeling. Tapi, entah kenapa lately I interested about all about International world. Yea, like ambassador. I like seriously always jealous, feel a lot of envious with somebody who works on that part. I am so excited for learning about international relation. But, in the other side, I still dreaming to become a doctor, a special obstetrician. Aaaaaaaaaah and now I am scared. Really truly deeply madly scareeeeeeed:''''( This makes me dilemma. On the horns of dilemma tho, yikes! Help me God!!!!! Yes, I know right, as time goes by it would be happen to me, too. And it is indeed, so it has been happening to my entire life. I just realized it when I was in the first grade of high school, excatly right now! And it really really happens to me. Makes me confused, makes me worried, and even makes me scared. Every single day of life, I always think bout that. Also, it has been my necessity before I go to bed at night, spending a little time of mine to muse that silly thing. Maybe, it was due to my sane demand. I don't know well. But for sure, God always on my side to beyond this. Aamiin :)

13 Days Left Until The D-Day

Assalamualaikum. Good night, my folks. How's your day? Fine? Same like me. Berarti kitaaaa...... Ah forget it-_- Anyway, Welcome March, welcome my month, the best month of the best. Actually, perhaps I am too late to say welcome but never mind. Blog, blog siapa? Yang nulis siapa? Got a problem? Haha. By the way, I am waiting a...... Guess what hayoo. Well well, saya lagi waiting detik detik D-Day till my day. Huhu, 13 days left to my birthday, turning 16. Yay! Exactly 19 of March. Aaaand? You know? My purf 15 will surely leave me hiks:( OMFG, I am getting old. Time really flies so fast. And that means, I am going to face what the real life is:))) See ya~ Wassalam

Bla Ble Blo

Assalamualaikum fellows:) Whoa have a blessing friday yah. Tireeeeed-_- Okay, btw I wanna share to you guys a lil bit story 'bout my school lately. Penasaran? Simak yah. Now Im in a high school. I thought, being a shs student is a greatest thing ever. Obviously, I am wrong! Veeeeery wrong. Hm, well at the first time, I am truly enjoy it, then an unimportant and trivial -I thought- happened. It has been ruining everything. EVERYTHING! I never faced such a sucks problem class like that. Ugh. Actually, I didn't know what happen first. And, strangely why I'm also be remoted by them. Hahaha, how funny, isnt it? Well, if the reason is I am her close friend, doesn't mean they have got right to do that. Tbh, it is really out of mind. They're so childish, selfish. For right now, I dont rebel. Even, I can accepted it. Ohoo? Ask a pardon? Me? Oh NEVER! In fact, bukan saya yang salah. Dan, saya cuma dikait-kaitkan. Really have no life. Poor ya, dude. Hahaha-_- But idec! I still alive. One thing you should know: If you ignore me, I will ignore you. If you don't start the conversation, we won't talk. If you don't even try, why should I? Life as that simple, right?

Im back

Assalamualaikum. Aaa sudah lama ga ngeposting blog. Berasa sudah banyak sarang laba-labanya-_- Duh, I miss my blog already:') Selama nge-vacum, banyak banget hal-hal yang mau author share. Tapi yah diringkas aja yah:D Okay. first, I'd love to tell you that Im already in Senior High School. And Im been turning 2 semesters now. We to the Ow to the We. Aaaach so hard for believing it, hehe. Memang, kelulusan adalah salah satu hal yang paling ditunggu-tunggu. Tetapi, dibalik itu terselip rasa sedih bahwa kita akan berpisah sama teman-teman kita. Dan itu sudah barang PASTI! Didn't you know? Being a shs student memang buat kita pusing 7 keliling. Poor me. Nah apalagi angkatanku adalah angkatan pertama yang mengikuti kurikulum 2013. Pusiiiiing cin-_- Hope you can feel me-_- Oh adududuh hell yeah!!! Nb: Im turning 16 on about 30 days left. Fyi ajasih:D I think its enough bibeh bebes:p Wassalam:)

SAKIT HATI

Sebenarnya sakit hati itu datangnya dari mana? Apa dia dari kata-kata pedas orang lain atau justru dari hati kita yang kelewat tinggi melihat diri? Hm... Mungkin bukan sekedar kata-kata pedas, melainkan perlakuan buruk seseorang kepada kita. Bisa jadi mimik yang penuh cibiran, atau bahkan meludah sesaat setelah saling bertatapan. Atau sekedar diabaikan, itupun cukup membuat hati ini terluka. Tapi kesemua itu adalah hal-hal yang terkait dengan faktor di luar diri kita. Yang sejatinya kita memang tidak punya cukup kewenangan untuk mengubahnya. Jika bicara teritori- wilayah kewenangan kita, maka yang bisa kita ubah adalah sikap hati kita, saat serangan “eksternal” itu datang. Suatu kata, sikap tidak sedap, cacian atau bahkan makian… tidak bisa membuat kita terluka, jika tidak adapenilaian diri yang berlebihan tentang betapa “mulia”nya diri kita ini. Sehinggga (menurut kita) tidak-lah layak, seorang se-mulia kita ini mendapat kata, sikap tidak sedap, cacian juga makian. Nah, jika ini masalahnya… kita bisa mengubahnya. Karena ini adalahmasalah internal diri kita. Mari kita coba, membedah akar masalah dari sakit hati ini… dengan pisau dingin akal sehat kita. pertama; evaluasi ulang, jangan-jangan ada sikap kita (atau mungkin kata-kata kita)yang menjadi pemicu munculnya serangan eksternal itu. kedua; jangan-jangan, bukan salah anggapan mereka… namun justru masalah ada di anggapan kita terhadap diri kita. Kita keterlaluan dalam memandang hebat diri kita. Cobalah terus merendah, pastikan kita tidak sekedar jongkok melainkan tiarap… biarkan saja ekspektasi orang lain terhadap kita begitu rendah; itu tidak masalah, karena justru akan menaikan nilai kita, ketika akhirnya kita buktikan, bahwa kita jauh lebih hebat dari ekspektasi mereka tersebut. 

A Mother's Sacrifice

Mom, thank you for your sacrifice. Your sacrifice for womb me during about 9 months, your sacrifice for guarding me, for looking me after, for everything. I know, I always make mistakes which is it can make you upset to me, dissapointed to me. And probably, too often. I am aware, always aware. Mom, when I had a sick, the only most efficacious medicine is your hug. That's it. Mom, I know you have such a pure heart. You can willing everything for your childern, include me. But, believe me, I love you so much. I love you more than anything in this world{}. Sincerely, your daughter.

(......)

Mungkin kalian bertanya, kok judulnya (....) sih? Well, kenapa? Karena saya juga lagi kosong, jenuh, capek. Be as one. Pernah ga sih, kalian merasa bahwa kalian itu sedang berada di titik paling bawah? Yep, the weakest point kita. Kalau saya sih sering, and perhaps everyday. Errrr no no, not everyday tapi intinya seringlah. Nah sekarang saya lagi ngerasain itu -lagi-. It feels like...I'm not breathing enough air, merasa kayak lagi feel forgotten. Feel alone among the crowd, yea. That feeling when you're not necessarily sad but you just feel really empty. Sucks kbye